You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
