the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
