3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
love makes seman taste better
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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