Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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