i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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