it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
