i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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