Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
