It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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