apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
