No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
