He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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