My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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