a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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