she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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