See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
