i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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