She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
