Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize