if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
did you just send me my own nude
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He? As in you personified your dick?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
