Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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