I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
