Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She is in my trunk
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
