The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
