Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
why does every cop we meet know your name?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
