but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
