Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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