I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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