Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
