windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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