Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
