Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize