You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
