She's JV to your varsity
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My bed smells like the plague
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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