that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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