she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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