Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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