I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
