as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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