oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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