All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
