Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
