Yo dont text me then not text me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
