the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i wish my penis had a tongue
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
