Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
