Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
