After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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