There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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