I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
