I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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