we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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