it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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