their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Randomize
