It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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