I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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