Your tits are I can't wait for
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
