Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize