I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
