oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
