Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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