you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
