Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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