wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
