Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
