Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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