And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
